A new year, a new day...
Everyone looks forward to a brand new year in hope that things that we did not do in the previous year(s) will eventually take place in this coming year..
I for one used to be a big subscriber of new year resolutions, made lists year after year, but as the years went by i stopped because i realized that at the end of the year, i have already forgotten what my resolutions were.
So this year i decided to do things a little differently. Since my memory is failing me, i decided that one big & important resolution was gonna be something i'm really gonna remember and continue to do through the year.
And this year, i realized that i need to learn to be much more forgiving towards people.
Last year was a year that i encountered many problems with people. Sounds usual, everyday people dynamics.. but the dynamics was quite dramatic and it really opened my eyes to realize that people are really not what they seem, especially people i've shown kindness and love to.
And that made me question a lot about the truth of friendships.
Been quite an introverted person who spends most of my time non interacting with human beings, vs. time alone by myself or with my pets, with my computer, the later seems much more, i never had much close friends to start with ...
Maybe because i've been disappointed by people too many a times, or simply because i cant read people as well as i should and that i learnt at a very young age.
A friend of 10 years i knew made me realize that our friendship wasn't strong in the first place.
Due to circumstances i understand that it was hard to be friends but what really made me think otherwise about her was the fact that she did exactly the thing that i didn't knowing that it might hurt her.
Being an intelligent being she is, she probably knew that doing that would hurt me, and she intentionally did it despite whatever excuse she would like to put forth to herself. She did it in a similar last situation with another friend she decided to backstab when things didn't go right between him and her, and this round, knowing her to hurt would be also her clear intention. Guess at the end in the last situation, she didn't quite learn that hurting others would also in turn be hurting herself, and eventually in the law of the universe, everything has a consequence.
Whatever it is, one thing i know for sure and i make sure i do everyday is knowing that i can go to sleep in peace and that my conscience is cleared and that i did not intentionally go out to hurt people along the way.
And through it all, i should be thankful to her because by her actions, it gave me strength to grow stronger as a person and through this, i am just thankful that i am not wasting anymore time on a friendship that perhaps i had thought wrong all these while.
I am always thankful for the people in my life who have shown me the truth about themselves-
1. it helps me be aware that i should never act or associate in their usually childish/negative behaviours
2. i take it as a lesson learnt and through that realize about myself and grow stronger as a person.
At the end of it all, i'm just happy that people like her are out of my life and the funny thing is that i thought i would be really upset considering that we spent considerate time and events together, but i guess it's really not that bad after all 'coz life goes on and on God's path, once you drop friends who are not positive for your growth, He will always replenish and in that i trust. :)
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